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Bird Names to be Changed to End Systemic Racism in Naming Birds

Pretty Bird With a Nice Orange Red Plumage in the Nature

In a further sign that human beings have gone completely bonkers, the American Ornithological Society says it will rename dozens of birds so that it will finally be safe for minorities to take up the hobby of birdwatching. It turns out that some of the naturalists and explorers and ornithologists of the past had unfashionable opinions about race, and then had bird species that they discovered named after them.

Which means, apparently, that the birds are racist until their names are changed.

 

For example, Lewis’s woodpecker was named after Meriweather Lewis, of the Lewis and Clark Expedition. Lewis was the first westerner to see one of these birds in the wild and wrote a vivid description of it, so the field of ornithology named the bird after him.

The bird is obviously racist with that name, though, because… uh… Well, we’re not really clear on what the rules are here. But the liberal white ladies running the American Ornithological Society these days are absolutely certain that if they change the names of nearly 80 birds, blacks and Hispanics will finally start to flock to the thrilling hobby of birdwatching.

Comedian Mark Dice is not convinced, as you can tell from this video…


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